Rebel in the Child Seat

Sleep deprivation is a serious matter. Especially for young mothers. Time for the whole editorial team to come together to brainstorm. A Ford Mustang GT was also required. Our contribution to World Children's Day.
Text ramp
Photo Matthias Mederer · ramp.pictures

The editor-in-chief is the last to enter the conference room. On the table, the usual creative chaos of theme plans, coffee cups, printed photo spreads, first layout drafts, a couple of notepads and four cans of Red Bull. The intern clings firmly to one of them. “It was a long night, but now she’s asleep.” The assembled team is briefly taken aback before a cheeky grin spreads on the intern’s face. The editor-in-chief smiles almost imperceptibly. As a responsible father of three school-age children, he obviously can’t endorse such excesses in one’s lifestyle.

The other three cans are standing in front of Anto, Nadine and Emily. Three young mothers. Their night was long too.

Editor-in-chief:
“You look tired.”

Anto:
“I can manage. It’s just that the little one is having an especially active phase right now. Unfortunately, also at night.”

Editor-in-chief: “How old is she now?”

Anto: “Eighteen months.”

Matthias: “A fun age! My niece is about that old. She’s just discovering the world, chattering all day. I hardly understand anything she says, but it’s fun to watch.”

Nadine: [stern look for Matthias, sympathy for Anto]
“You poor thing. Marlon now sleeps through the night at least sometimes. It still varies, but I only have to get up three out of five nights during the week now. Then you can quietly celebrate to yourself all day long.”

Anto forces a smile. Obviously, she doesn’t really believe that right now.

Editor-in-chief: “I think there was a study on this subject recently. Turns out that women sleep an average of up to forty minutes less in the first year after giving birth than before. In the first three months, it even is up to an hour less.”

Alexander: [inquisitive]
“Any figures for the fathers?”

Editor-in-chief: [hesitates]
“Yes . . . here the effects aren’t quite as big. On average, thirteen or fourteen minutes less sleep.”

Silence.

The mothers exchange a few meaningful glances with each other.

Alexander: “Hmm . . . well at least it’s something.”

Editor-in-chief: [knowing he’s on thin ice] “The study also found that the effects of sleep deprivation were not only noticeable for the first year or two, but actually lasted up to six years, which is far more surprising than the fact of sleep deprivation itself.”

Alexander: “Aha . . . I wouldn’t have expected that now either.”

Everyone nods. Except for Anto, Nadine and Emily.

Editor-in-chief: [fully aware of his obligation to his employees’ welfare] “Okay, everybody . . . let’s see how we can help Anto out a bit. Our next issue will be titled ‘Silence’. That’s a perfect topic, isn’t it? How can we help Anto, and Nadine and Emily, find a bit of rest and quiet? Ideas, please.”

Intern: [starts to say something, then looks a bit furtively at the floor]
“How about . . . ”

Franzi (Art Director): “Watch it!”

Ford Mustang GT // Engine: naturally aspirated V8 / Displacement: 5,038 cc / Power: 450 hp (331 kW) at 7,000  rpm / Torque: 529 Nm at 4,600 rpm / 0–100 km / h: 5.3 s / Top Speed 250 km/h

The intern holds his tongue.

Cedric:(Project Manager ramp & rampstyle):
“How much longer will the Mustang be here?”

Ulli (Office Assistant):
“It’s being picked up on Friday.”

Cedric: [speaking to Anto]
“Does the little one like going for a drive?”

Matthias: [cheeky]
“Only since she can look over the wheel.”

Some people laugh. Others deliberately don’t.

Cedric: “What I’m getting at: some children always fall asleep while driving in a car. And the grumbling of this Mustang V8 has something very meditative about it, especially in the low rpm range. Then there’s how the whole thing just vibrates . . . ”

Editor-in-chief: [pragmatic as always]
“C’mon, let’s give it a try!”

Nadine and Emily: [unisono] “That’ll never work.”

And they were right.

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