The pizza delivery GT
»Takes about an hour.« One hour? »One hour«. That is how long I will have to wait for my rigatoni al forno. Well, great. This postpones the lunch break by almost 30 minutes. I've been ordering from the same Italian restaurant for years and they've never taken as long as one hour. It may take 45 minutes at peak times on Sunday evenings, but lunchtime, during the week? Corona is to blame, many people in the home office have their lunch delivered. For a moment I'm desperate, wondering if now is the point where I should fight against all this Corona insulation madness with a countermovement; maybe with a video message on Instagram. But which hashtag to use? … Oh look, Oliver Pocher has posted a new video… Funny!
I postpone my viral protest movement and think about what I can do. Buying noodles in the supermarket is rather frowned upon these days. In protest against the panic-buyers I refuse to buy even one package. That at least is the official explanation. Unofficially, the thought of handling boiling hot water in a closed room scares me a bit.
In the garage there is a McLaren New GT. At this point one would normally recite the staccato of numbers popular from the Autoquartet: 4.0-litre V8 biturbo, 620 hp, 630 Newton meters of torque, zero to 100 kmh in 3.2 seconds, and when push comes to shove, it reaches at 326 km/h. Because it is a GT, I would of course take the long journey. A coffee on the Cote d'Azur and in the evening a curry sausage in Berlin. Or I would personally deliver the latest Ramp edition to selected ramp subscribers with good connections to a German motorway; in other words, some kind of made up emergency, which obviously legitimizes driving this car across the country. Unfortunately this is not possible at the moment. Mr. Söder has ordered collective house arrest and the beautiful McLaren is sitting cold and lonely in the garage.
Then it occurs to me: the car is the first McLaren to have a second trunk in the back, above the V8 engine. It's an ingenious balancing act, because turbo engines in particular generate a lot of heat and therefore need clever air intake and above all heat dissipation. To put a lid over this, to decorate it with fine leather and to offer the 470-litre space for the transport of bags, jackets or ice cream, is to be regarded as less than ideal. At least from an engine developer's point of view. McLaren somehow managed to do it anyway, which makes the New GT the ideal pizza delivery van in times of crisis, when demand is high and the roads are clear. The idea is so obvious that I ask myself why I had to wait until my stomach growled.
»Have you got another Lamborghini?« he laughs into the phone. I politely deny.
A second call to my trusted pizza delivery service: »Ciao Ragazzi! I own my own car.« Seniore Orllati is not particularly surprised, but when I suggest that he works for him and delivers pizza and pasta, he hesitates. »Have you got another Lamborghini?« he laughs into the phone. He remembers only too fondly the blue Aventador S with which I once stood outside the door in winter in sleet with reference to the four-wheel drive to pick up an order. He still has the photos of it on his mobile phone. I politely deny. »Never mind.« I almost feel like he's trying to comfort me because I don't have a Lamborghini anymore. I explain to him that the Italo bull would also be quite impractical and that I therefore have another car with a much larger trunk. »Yes, are you coming in an SUV? Lamborghini's? What's it called?« it’s Urus. But I'm not saying that. My initial reaction is to hang up. Me in an SUV! What's wrong with him?
I think about it for a second. Because if you take a closer look, the New GT from McLaren is a rather sporty and useful vehicle in equal measure - or in short: a sport-utility-vehicle, i.e. an SUV. Even the front of the car is a little bit higher, so that you can drive over bumps without any issues and even treacherous yard entrances can be taken with Soccer-Mom like indifference. »Something like that,« I let Seniore Orllati know. Fifteen minutes later, I park the McLaren New GT pizza-delivery-like on the middle of the sidewalk. I would have managed the distance in three minutes, but I wanted to warm up the McLaren a bit first. I'm a professional in this respect. The boot and gullwing doors reach for the sky. The cooling fans diligently turn fresh air into the system and billowing heat escapes from the openings in the rear. Seniore Orllati laughs. »You're a little crazy. But I like ya.« First order's on its way. A Pizza Magharita and one Speciale. Fifteen euros and ninety cents. Mr. Orllati asks me if I need a hot box. I wave goodbye. »Already warmed it up.« Orllati nods. He understood immediately.
Mr. Orllati asks me if I need a hot box. I wave goodbye. »Already warmed it up.« Orllati nods. He understands immediately.
Here we go. It's only a kilometer and a half. A bank branch. I don't need GPS or third gear, I hold it in second gear manually. More rpm means more heat in the rear. Even if the insulation and heat dissipation mean that the boot in the rear never gets warmer than room temperature, even if the engine boils water just a few centimeters below that with its heat, it does get a bit warmer in the rear with the appropriate driving style. So for a pizza delivery service this is the perfect integrated heat box. Steaming warm I hand over my first delivery. The second delivery goes to a family. Both parents in the home office, plus two small children. »It works well with the two of us, especially during conferences or phone calls, it's easy to take turns with the childcare, otherwise it's a challenge with the little ones, of course,« the mum tells me, while the daughter is already whining.
After the fourth delivery, Seniore Orllati asks me why, despite this fast car, it takes me longer than my colleagues with the traditional little city runabouts, who would not even have a fifth of the power of the McLaren. I have to admit that although a McLaren like this works pretty perfectly as a special pizza delivery vehicle, it unfortunately also attracts a lot of attention. Unbelievable surprise and honest curiosity are so strong, not only among customers but also among passers-by passing by accidentally, that even the hunger is suppressed for a little chat. And of course, plenty of photos are taken and questions asked. As a raging but friendly pizza delivery boy from ramp I cannot just jump into the car and speed away. So I explain again and again the principle of this equally sporty and useful vehicle. A middle-aged woman takes photos of the McLaren for her daughter and laughs out loud when I come up with this explanation. When she then sees three family pizzas for a doctor's office in the trunk, her laughter gets stuck in her throat for a moment: »There really is pizza in there!« The woman is so perplexed that I spontaneously say goodbye with the statement that I still have to go to the US military training area Hohenfels and drive a star general to a crisis meeting in Rammstein. With the words, »one good deed every day«, I say goodbye and leave the woman behind. So she definitely has a story to tell at home.
I have to admit that although a McLaren like this works pretty perfectly as a special pizza delivery vehicle, it unfortunately also attracts a lot of attention.
Coincidentally, a little later on another delivery I meet a good friend: »Man, we haven't met for ages«, I greet him jokingly. »Shut up, you fool. Is this your form of home office?« I explain to him that I sincerely want to help and that's why I'm delivering pizza. »We all have to do our part in this difficult time.« - »All right,« my friend says. A police patrol drives by with the windows down, reduces speed considerably, an officer at the wheel and her colleague looks over to the flat, wide McLaren with interest. Bavaria has some of the strictest regulations in the whole of Germany regarding the rules for leaving the house. Driving McLaren, even with an English license plate, is not one of the valid reasons for an exception. And law enforcement officers take their job seriously in this matter. Just this morning I read in the newspaper that three young men have been reported for driving together in a car. The officers refused to accept their excuse that they were having a homosexual love triangle. I wonder if the police will buy the pizza delivery story? And if not, can I invoke the freedom of the press and research? Or at least some entertaining speed bumps from the V8? With a Lamborghini Huracán and a traffic stop for using the phone behind the wheel, it has worked before. The officials leave it at a strict look in my direction, then roll on quietly. And also I say goodbye to my friend. »I'm not here for fun.«
All in all, I can only manage eight deliveries in two hours. That is not really impressive. The morning shift ends at 2 PM. Seniore Orllati is waiting with my rigatoni. »It's on the house,« he laughs. »The evening shift starts at 5PM,« he still shouts after me. I wave goodbye, start the V8 biturbo, close the door. A call from the editor-in-chief, some emergency. In Hamburg. Of course I'm on my way immediately.
McLaren New GT
Engine: V8 biturbo
Engine capacity: 3,994 cc
Power: 456 kW (620 HP)
Torque: 630 Nm @ 5,500-6,500 rpm
Acceleration: 0-100 km/h in 3.2 s
Vmax: 326 km/h